These? Oh they’re just the butteriest, most ridiculously stretchy shorts anyone’s ever made. It sounds like an exaggeration, but feel them and you’ll believe us. We thought of everything: moisture wicking, a zipper pocket so your phone doesn’t fall out—even a little extra fabric in front to keep your packages on the porch, if you know what we mean. Equally good for doing a little exercise or a whole lot of nothing. This custom fabric is magic. It’s so soft and stretchy it feels like wearing nothing, but it’s also thicker than most activewear so you won’t give the world an eyeful. It even wicks sweat. Because we’re overachievers like that. Conor is 6’2”, wearing a Medium, and loves buffalo wings.